Boring? Maybe. Interesting? Soon!

I'm having a hard time writing these days. I get a lot of stuff typed out and then I read over it and think, "that's not really very interesting, no one wants to read that," and I delete it all and start over. Then I run out of time, save it as a draft and go pick the kids up from school.

Recent deleted blog posts include: Hannah and how I figured out how to get her to choose school over staying home fake sick; a list of interesting things to read; some ideas on how I got my kids to love reading; a list of good buys from discount stores.

See... don't all those things sound like great topics to blog?

Here's the problem. No one wants to read about Hannah throwing up. It's gross. It's barf. And she's not actually sick, she just throws up now and then when life doesn't agree with her. How did I get her to go to school? I said this, "If you don't have a fever and/or a stomach bug but you feel too sick to go to school than your body is telling you that it needs rest. If you stay home today you will be napping in your own bed not watching TV in mine." She, quite happily, chose school.

The list of interesting things to read only had one thing on it. Raising Boys (A Dad's Advice For Moms  by Tom Matlack of the Good Men Project. Everything else I ended up sharing on facebook.

How did I get my kids to love reading? I'm not sure. I read to them a lot. I let them pick out their own books. I don't pressure them and I keep reading time stress-free.

Good things to buy from TJ Maxx and Marshalls? Coffee, bedding, blank cards and journals.

I don't have a snarky, humorous or interesting way to share any of those things so I abandoned the topic and moved on.

I am working on some new topics. I don't think they will be snarky or humorous... but hopefully they'll be interesting. I've been thinking about how and why I get mad at or yell at my kids. I've been thinking about why we go through trials and the best ways to deal with difficult times. And I've been thinking about what it means to let things go; what should we let go in parenting and when is it important to stand your ground?

Stay tuned. I might be interesting shortly.

My Life Is Funnier In A Text

A texting exchange with my friend Jen. Sometimes my real life is as funny as damnyouautocorrect.

And for my fellow StrengthsFinder friends. This made my day.

God Is Good. All The Time

My bro has been back in the hospital this past week. He had some alarming symptoms that sent them to the ER. Blood tests and a spinal tap showed all was clear and the symptoms were related to the meningitis so they sent him home. Unfortunately the site of his lumbar puncture didn't heal and he began leaking spinal fluid... not rare but definitely painful. Four days later his neurologist sent him back to the ER and the hospital admitted him. That was on Tuesday and today is Saturday and he's still not home. The whole situation has been stressful and frustrating but he's not dying this time so that's a plus.

I have definitely felt the presence of the Lord over the past week. Matthew was sick, Hannah was sick for four days and I'm sick now. My brother is in the hospital. I might not be the picture child for empathy but when my family is sick and my brother, my best friend and my nieces are having such a rough time of life it definitely affects me. Throw in the evil germs wreaking havoc on my own family and I am at the end of what I have to offer.

Praise God for allowing me to experience the truth of 2 Corinthian's 9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

It makes me sad when people say, "God doesn't give you what you can't handle." These past few weeks have been more than I can handle. Maybe I could have endured on my own but God's grace made it possible for me to do more than just survive. I have felt peace in the midst of chaos. I have had strength to have a pleasant attitude and take care of four kids while sick. When I look back, I am not ashamed of my behavior, my reactions or the way I've spent my time. I know what I'm like when I rely on my own strengths and it isn't pretty. 

I'll take the grace of God made perfect in my weakness over relying on my own abilities any day.

This is how I know that God is good all the time. Not because my brother is living. Not because my prayers are answered. Because even when life doesn't go my way I know He is here. He will never leave me or forsake me.

Hopefully I'll look back and be thankful for this time. But right now, even with the grace of God allowing me to experience his presence, I'd still rather be healthy and have my brother and his family home and well. 

Baby steps.

UPDATE:
My brother was discharged from the hospital late in the evening on 2/16 and is recovering at home. PRAISE GOD!! We are praying for no more complications and that he would return to his normal, fabulous health QUIICKLY!!

Regroup, Reload, Reboot

Ahh, life. You deal me such wild cards.

My brain is full of things I'd like to write, discuss and blog... but I'm having a hard time thinking of one thing long enough to write an entire post. So, here's my brain in bullet points.

• The last two weeks have been NOTHING like I expected. But they are improving daily and I am moving forward with life.
• I went to IKEA and bought the kids Each a desk and a chair. I found a desk top for $5.99 and legs for $3.50 each. I sprung for the special $25 chair and they were thrilled! They think it's a nice gift from Mom but really it's so I can send them to their rooms and still expect them to complete their homework. (Hannah's desk is white with pink legs and a pink chair. Chris' desk is black with silver legs and a green chair.)
• I've been working hard on my StrengthsFinder trainings and really enjoying myself. In a couple of weeks I'm hosting a Strengths and Spirituality discussion in the hopes that I can draw some links between how we are created and how we find energy in our relationship with God. I'm really excited to talk Strengths with people who get Strengths.
• I've been thinking a lot about addiction. I know that people say they are addicted to food but am I addicted to food? It makes me happy, really happy. Sometimes I hide in the bathroom to eat a piece of candy and then rinse my mouth out so my kids don't know I ate it. I have very little self control about food and can eat an entire bowl of M&Ms... or an entire bowl of raw veggies if I'm on a diet. I think about food in between meals and eat when I'm not hungry, just because food tastes so good. I still am not convinced that I'm addicted to food. But, I've been thinking a lot about the concept.
• I've been trying to get into a stable routine for the last six months and something derails my attempts every single time. Maybe a lack of routine is my new normal. If I accept that am I being strong or weak?
• I read a My Utmost devotion the other day and have been thinking a lot about this: "Paul was not given a message or a doctrine to proclaim. He was brought into a vivid, personal, overpowering relationship with Jesus Christ. Paul was devoted to a Person, not to a cause." This is such a freeing concept for me. I don't have to be devoted to a message, doctrine or cause... or even a church. I only have to be in relationship with the Lord. That's it. Acts 26:16 - I have appeared to you to appoint you as servant and as a witness of what you have seen and will see of Christ.
• My son Christopher has been a crazy beast these last few weeks, a boy but a boyX10 - non stop potty talk, burping, farting, spitting, motion-motion-motion, hitting, lying, throwing things, ignoring me, teasing his sister.  The other morning I said, "It seems like you want me to pay attention to you." And he said yes. I said, "How about if I play cards with you and pay attention to you that way so you don't have to be a crazy person to get my attention." And he said ok. And then he calmed down and we played cards. I really hope that line works for a couple more weeks.
• I made a low carb dessert and took pictures of it. I will post them soon.
• I'm rebooting my New Year's Goals and trying again... especially the eating healthy and blogging often parts.

So, that's about it. Well... it's never "it" with me, but that's what I can think of right now. Hopefully I'll be back on a blogging schedule now.

Chris

My brother Chris, his wife Corinne and their two daughters, Ella and Sadie

10 days ago my little brother Chris got really, really sick. It happened out of nowhere, in the middle of the night. Corinne (his wife) took him to the hospital and within a couple of hours he was unconscious and then diagnosed with bacterial meningitis. The doctors said confusing, difficult things like "chances of survival" and told us if he did recover from the infection he could face complications like brain damage, paralysis, hearing loss and seizures. We started praying that God would spare his life.

They moved him to the ICU where we were told he may not regain consciousness for weeks. The next day his ER nurse found out he was in the ICU and her immediate response was, "He survived?!" Yeah. It was that bad.

People started praying. His church, my church, the churches of our friends and family across the country. 18 hours after he got to the hospital he opened his eyes and was able to answer some yes and no questions. When we asked if he knew the names of his daughters he whispered, "Ella and Sadie." We cried.

Day two was spent watching him sleep and trying to minimize his extreme pain. He was awake for 30 seconds or a minute at a time and then faded away again. He couldn't focus his eyes on our faces and he was having trouble hearing. We started taking shifts sitting by his bed and sleeping in the ICU waiting room. We kept on praying.

Early in the morning of day three I was sitting by his bed reading a book while Corinne slept. I heard Chris stir and looked up. He opened his eyes, looked at me and said, "I think I'm going to throw up." It was the longest, clearest sentence he had spoken since arriving at the hospital. When our parents came to visit they were SHOCKED to find him sitting up in bed and speaking full sentences before falling back asleep. His personality started to return. He told us he felt like Gulliver - a giant in a tiny bed with little people coming around to poke him (he is 6'5" and that day his nurse was very small). He asked us who knew that he was sick and we said, "Everybody you have ever met... and more." We kept praying.

On day four they moved him out of the ICU and into a regular room. Again, we were shocked, and thankful, and blessed, and praising God for his mercies. The nurses kept telling us how quickly he was improving. How they'd seen people take weeks to do the healing Chris had done in just a couple of days. They mentally prepared us for a long hospital stay and weeks of antibiotics, physical therapy and recovery. Corinne stayed at the hospital day and night only going home in the evening for a couple of hours to have dinner with the girls and put them to bed.

Chris continued to improve. The main obstacle was transitioning from IV to oral pain meds but after meeting with the pain specialist Chris was able to successfully control his pain with oral meds. He ate real food. He started meeting with a physical therapist, getting out of bed and walking in the halls. And we prayed. Our friends prayed. The friends of friends and churches of friends and people we'd never met prayed.

The We're-Leaving-The-Hospital-In-10-Minutes face

On Wednesday, one week after being admitted into the hospital, Chris was discharged. He is continuing to recover at home. He has a picc line and will be on IV antibiotics for weeks. He is receiving physical therapy and improving daily. His hearing and vision have still not returned to normal and he is still very tired but he is getting better. PRAISE GOD! He is getting better.

Home with his girls

Friends, we serve such an amazing God. He loves us, he cares for us and he answers our prayers. Would he still be an amazing God if my brother had died that first night? Yes, of course. But God showed his love for us in so many ways over the past two weeks. He was our Prince of Peace. We stayed calm and didn't panic or turn on each other in how-could-this-happen anger. Friends and family stepped up to take care of the girls, bring food, offer words of support and encouragement and they PRAYED. We felt God's love through His people and it was beautiful. We asked for healing and He gave us a miracle. Praise God the Great Physician. To Him be the glory.

If you are a praying person, please continue to pray for complete healing for my brother Chris. And if you've been praying all this time, THANK YOU!! God has used you in an amazing way to minister to my family.