Thinking In More Than 140 Characters

I collect my thoughts in three ways: Tweets, Status Updates and Blog Posts. If it's short, witty and I think no one really cares, it goes on Twitter. If it's slightly longer, witty and I think someone might laugh, it goes on Facebook. If it's long, involved and I think I might want to remember it, it goes on my blog.

But sometimes I think about something that doesn't fall into any of those categories. Not witty enough for Twitter, too long for Facebook and too short for my blog. When I have one of those thoughts I usually email it to myself so I can think about it later.

Here are five of those random thoughts.

1. It doesn't matter what weather is like, or how short the drive; every time I get in my car with food I think about how many days I could last if I ran off the road or got caught in a snow storm. This inevitably makes me think about having a warm blanket with me (which I never do) even in the summer. This never happens when I've just been to the grocery store. (Just for the record, we haven't had any snow this winter and I live in the suburbs, so if I ran off the road I'd hit a house or a tree or a nail salon and someone would notice right away.)

2. When Christopher was four months old I fell down the steps and broke my leg. It's been seven years and still when I start down the steps I think about all the plans I have for the day/week/month and what I'd have to cancel if I fell. I also make sure I have my cell phone on me since last time I fell my phone was in the car and I had to hobble out on a broken leg to get it. I'm sure there are some times when I walk down the stairs stress free, but at least twice a day these thoughts run through my mind. Sometimes more. On the up side, it makes me walk very carefully on the steps.

3. It takes months to teach a child to read. It takes weeks to teach a child how to ride a bike. It takes days to teach a child a Bible verse. However, it apparently only takes 45 seconds to teach a child how to speak like Scooby Doo. Roh-ray? Ruh-roh.

4. No matter how catchy the tune, Kid Rock's All Summer Long is not an appropriate song for a five year old and a seven year old. Even if the kid's didn't catch the words the first time the lyrics will, sadly, be stuck in your head for days eventually someone is going to be belting out "sippin' whiskey out the bottle..."  (And I am thrilled beyond belief that they didn't catch the "smoking funny things" line or the "making love out by the lake" line.)

5. While volunteering in Hannah's kindergarten class I become aware of a slight argument between a kid and a teacher's aid. Apparently the kid kept calling the aid by the teacher's name so she was saying, "LOOK at us! I'm old, she's young. I have brown hair, she has blond hair. I'm tall, she's short!"

The kid wasn't buying it so, laughing, the aid went and got the teacher. They got cheek to cheek, big smiles, right in the kid's face and she said, "SEE! We look totally different."

This five year old, African American boy looks at the two of them and says, "Nope, you're both white. Ya look the same to me."

You had to scrape us up off the floor, we were laughing that hard.

Need more crazy things from inside my brain? There is more here.