|Our 2013 Christmas card picture|
One of the biggest problems I have with my ADD 9-year old is his inability, or unwillingness, to stop when I say stop. He gets fixated on his goal and blocks out the world. While his single-mindedness may be a function of his ADD, I refuse to allow it to be an excuse for ignoring anyone yelling STOP.
My 7-year old is more of a people pleaser but is still prone to unwarranted melt-downs over the slightest disappointment.
The other morning Christopher was letting the cat out the window and I said stop. Then I said it louder. Then I said it five or six times. When he had finished letting the cat out the window he turned to me and said, "Sorry." Without yelling (WIN!), I replied, "Thanks for your apology, now go unload the dishwasher. And next time stop when I say stop."
He was appalled! I frequently assign chores around the house but he's never had to unload the dishwasher as a punishment. He pushed back a bit but I remained calm and he finished his chore before we had to leave for school. On the way there he scolded me (yes, and we're working on respectfully speaking to adults) for making him not have enough time to finish his breakfast. I matter-of-factly (WIN) reminded him that he can eat breakfast in school and that how he spends his mornings is up to him. If he follows the rules, his time belongs to him but if he breaks the rules, his time belongs to me.
|The other 2013 Christmas card picture|
I eventually made some charts with lists of chores. I'll post my chore charts, and reasoning behind our system, later this week.
So far, this new plan is working well. I am repeating myself less and less. The kids are doing what I ask (more often than they used to) without complaining, arguing or melting down. I am optimistic that this will continue to work for as long as I need.
And, you should see my baseboards!